Tips For Redefining Your Career Ambitions As A Women If You're Unhappy At Your Job

Women are still paid less than men, earning 82 cents for every full-time dollar men earn, and 78 cents for every part-time dollar men earn. For women of color, this gap is even wider. When it comes to C-suite roles and board seats, a 2021 study found that women only account for 22% of all positions. 

While these numbers are improving, they reflect a reality that leaves far too many women unhappy in their work. When it’s not time to leave but rather redefine your career, what can you do?

Pinpoint what specifically makes you unhappy.

Try not to settle on the idea that your job—in all its complexities—is terrible for you, full stop. Instead, get specific. What about your job currently makes you unhappy? This way, we can find more controllable problems to solve and/or ones to avoid in future roles. 

Is the work itself draining or un-motivating? Are your leaders toxic? Do coworkers cross boundaries and ask you to stay late or redo work when it’s unnecessary? Does someone at work bully or harass you? All of these are good reasons to schedule an appointment with the HR department (if your company has one), and odds are other teammates share your concerns.

Negotiate everything. (Especially when the way it was working just doesn't work anymore.)

Work relationships are a two-way street like any relationship in life. Everything is negotiable, especially if you’re an asset to a team. Don’t be afraid to open conversations about your unhappiness on the clock. 

If your ambitions take place largely outside of work, consider establishing stronger boundaries so your day ends when it’s supposed to. You could also talk with a manager about a more flexible schedule that allows you to thrive in and outside of work, instead of feeling down around the clock. You never know how much value you bring to your organization, so if your lifestyle requires higher pay now, they might find it worth it just so they can keep you. Bet on yourself in these conversations and be open to all outcomes.

Reframe bad news and situations.

Feeling like your hard work goes by unnoticed and your skills are constantly underutilized at work can lead to feelings of pointlessness, frustration, and dissatisfaction. If you were up for a promotion but got passed, you may feel wronged or betrayed.

Let’s reframe. Maybe there are some positives that come with getting passed on a promotion. Are there people on the team you would’ve had to work with that you’re lucky to no longer have to? Would your new boss breathe down your neck? Do you have other more important career goals and long-term interests you can pay mind to now? Considering all positive outcomes like this can boost your self-esteem and help you identify new paths to follow moving forward.

Work with a counselor on negative thought patterns, values, and goal-setting.

Therapists are great partners with whom to work through negative thought patterns. They can help you come back down to Earth, see other ways of approaching the situation, and ultimately feel better and more in control of your life without actually changing the circumstances. (This is known as “cognitive restructuring.”)

Mentally, it feels like moving something out of the dark and into the light. If you’re looking at a picture outside under a shaded tree, it’s going to look different when you take a few steps into the sunlight. You might have different feelings about the colors or people’s expressions; you may notice things in the background you couldn’t see before. 

Beyond seeing things from a new perspective, therapists are great partners with whom to evaluate your values so your goals become more realistic and fulfilling. Ready to feel good at work again? Schedule your first appointment today for therapy for professionals or therapy for women.