4 Ways to Better Communicate With Your Partner

Relationships can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster. You tend to have just as many good moments together as you do bad. They aren't easy and require effort from both people to make things work.

Most people have heard that communication is important in a relationship. However, this knowledge does not always equate to knowing how to effectively communicate. Communication goes beyond, "How was your day?" or "Do we have anything planned for this weekend?"

When you can communicate with one another on deeper levels, it can typically prevent and ease any potential conflicts that come up. Let's talk about some ways to communicate more effectively with your partner.

4 Communication Tips For Couples

1. Listen, Don't Just Speak

We all want our opinions heard. To feel as if our voices matter and what we feel is important. When you are in an argument with your partner, that need can overshadow effective communication. This is why at times, arguments turn into screaming matches as you try to make your opinion heard. Even if that means you aren't listening to what your partner says.

Don't just voice your own opinion but listen to what your partner is saying. Actively listen to the words they are saying and how they are saying them. If they are speaking, let them finish before you begin with your own thoughts. Stay engaged with the conversation by not paying attention to anything distracting like your phone or the tv. Healthy communication involves more than just speaking to one another, after all.

2. Try To Check-In With Each Other

You both have busy lives. You work all day then come home and do household chores, run errands, or take care of the kids. If you feel as if you are barely speaking to your partner, it's no wonder why!

If time allows for it, try to check in with each other periodically throughout the day. Even if it's just a quick five-minute phone call on your lunch break. This will allow you to still feel in touch with what is going on with one another.

3. Don't Make Assumptions

This is huge when it comes to communicating effectively with one another. You should never assume you know what your partner is going through or thinking. It would be nice if you could read each other's minds and know what is going on. But unfortunately, this isn't a science fiction world.

To know for sure what is going on with another, talk about it. If you are upset about something they said, tell them. Don't assume they know what is wrong.

4. Use "I" Statements And Not "You"

When we argue with a partner, we often use statements that begin with the word you.

"You never listen to me."

"You don't care how I feel about this situation."

"You never take me seriously."

Instead, try to reframe these sentences.

"I feel as if you don't listen to me when I am talking."

"Sometimes I feel like you don't care how I view this situation."

"Every once in a while, I think that you don't take me seriously."

Do you see the differences?

Reframing how you start your sentences can get rid of the accusatory impressions that can sometimes be given.

Bonus Tip: Couples Therapy

There's nothing wrong with admitting that your relationship isn't at it's best. Every couple, no matter what will go through periods of rough patches. If everything was always smooth, it wouldn't make for a very interesting life.

Learning how to communicate to be a better partner will mean the difference between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. Don't hesitate to reach out to us for support with couples therapy.